Tormented Writers, Aquariums and the Art of Distraction

Writers are the most tormented of all the different categories of artists that are out there in the world. — Janvier Chouteu-Chando

Procrastination is a time-honored tradition among writers. We stare at the screen while looking for any and every distraction to avoid doing it. The edge of the void can be a scary wary place. No one knows where the words come from. What if they don’t come? Or what if they do, and then the visions stop? What if it sucks? (Pro tip: It usually does.)

There’s an old joke that writers have clean houses. You’re sitting there, drinking coffee as if it’s the antidote to a cobra bite, maybe the words aren’t flowing, or maybe they are and well, you don’t trust it. You’re not sure. The whole thing just bothers you. Suddenly, cleaning the toilet, weeding the garden, and picking the cat hairs out of the beater brush in the vacuum cleaner seem very important. Critical, even.

I think there’s a pill for this. I don’t take it.

Enter the aquarium. This is a distraction par excellence and, one might argue, more fun than scooping that one little poop out of the cat litter box. It is certainly healthier than surfing the internet, in that you won’t feel so trashy afterward. On my desk next to the monitor, I recently upgraded to a 10-gallon tank. There isn’t much room on the desk now aside from some valuable real estate where I keep my special clutter.

At some point, I had the idea of turning my new tank into a riparium. This setup re-creates the edge of a pond or stream, where things grow in that marginal space between the land and the water. It’s a lovely part of an ecosystem and a spectacular way to filter an aquarium. So now there are plants growing from the water, their stems and roots all tangled around everything beneath like an overgrown mausoleum in a gothic horror tale. Underwater plants growing amidst the hardscape create a happy place for cherry shrimps, bladder snails, Endler guppies, and otocinclus catfish (who appear to be hiding).

This baby is still in its early stages, but you get the idea. I’m hoping the impatiens bloom. And the schefflera, well, if it likes this arrangement, it will get big. Really big. I’ll need a plan.

Tinkering with something like this is boundless. It’s a work of art, and every little thing, how it feels, where it is, how it interacts with things around it, is important. It’s a living, breathing entity, always in motion, always expanding, always whole. And like a character in a novel, it does what it wants to do, despite my best laid plans.

Yeah, with this thing sitting on my desk, it’s a miracle I ever manage to write anything.

Seriously though, I am working on Masters of the Veil, Book Three in The Fylking. No, really. I am.

 
© F.T. McKinstry 2024. All Rights Reserved.

A Small Yet Complex Universe

The Kingdom. Enter at your peril.

Next to books and cats, keeping fishes is one of my greatest passions. When it comes to my aquarium, however, I am careful not to let my geeky, insufferable excitement trip into claiming I’m anything remotely resembling an expert. This is one of those The more I know, the less I know things.

An aquarium is an ecosystem, a small yet complex universe where everything is connected and working together to sustain and create life. I’ve learned more respect for the natural world by keeping aquariums than I have any other thing. Nature is mind-blowingly smart. She makes beautiful things look easy. In an aquarium, where every parameter (and there are lots of these) is up to the keeper, the slightest deviation can throw things out of balance, often to unfortunate results. It’s magical in that you’re amazed when things work, terrified when they don’t, and in either case you probably have no idea why.

My freshwater aquarium is full of live plants and as many critters as I can give homes to without causing Mother Nature to frown disapprovingly. And here comes the geeky part: you’re getting a tour, oh yes. Do stay on the path, lest something eat you like a shrimp flake.

Haunted Castle. I’ve had this castle for quite some time. It used to be dark with red roofs. Now it’s weathered, and looks especially creepy covered in black algae. Yeah don’t get me started on black algae. (Nature: 1; Faith: 0) Thankfully, my lovely snails eat the stuff (Nature: 1; Faith: 1), leaving the castle ghostly and abandoned but for the kuhlii loaches, who have special powers and aren’t afraid of ghosts. They like to prowl around in there and wriggle out the windows.

Enchanted Mountain. The natives will warn you about this place (see, there’s one up top, and you’d best heed him). Even the black algae avoids the mountain. (Nature: 1; Faith: 2) Lurking beneath a lush canopy of Cryptocoryne wendtii, the rock face rises toward the stars, whispering just below the threshold of hearing. The aliens hear it. The cave witch too, probably.

The Enchanted Mountain

Old Forest. Here is a tangled thicket you wouldn’t want to get lost in. The water wisteria (Hygrophila difformis) is hungry, crazy stuff, sending out roots everywhere which grow into more trees. The java fern (Leptochilus pteropus) in the corner grows on a weirdly shaped piece of driftwood that forms a cave network underneath. This is a popular place for wayward fishes to skulk or hook up. Maybe both. I’m not judging. What happens in the Old Forest stays in the Old Forest.

The Old Forest

Witch Cave. Deep within the Old Forest, this is the most dangerous place of all. The witch who lives here knows all your demons, and if you’re mad enough to go see her, she’ll summon them. Those plants guarding the opening will close around you. They have teeth and eyes, you know. Fishes have been known to go into the cave and never come out. True story. (Nature: 2; Faith: 2)

Ferocious Dragon. Well, he’s not actually that ferocious, lurking there next to the Witch Cave. His name is Desmond, and he’s friends with the witch. The algae eaters keep him looking spiffy, and the toothy plants tell him stories. The snails like him, too. Desmond is an all around good guy, really. For a dragon.

 

From left to right: Bristlenose, Nerite Snail, Kuhlii

Bristlenose Catfish (Ancistrus cirrhosus). This is a beautiful, industrious little fish with a big ventral suckermouth and these gnarly, fleshly tentacles on its snout. It looks prehistoric, and probably is. It’s cool to catch the beastie on the glass, where you can see the inner workings of its mouth. If you’re into such things.

Nerite Snails (Neritina natalensis). These interesting creatures move very slowly, when they move at all (they actually sleep), creeping along over everything and keeping it clean. They have powers of teleportation. No kidding, you can be watching one snailing over the glass in the corner, look away for two minutes and swoop! that sucker is clear on the other side of the tank and you’ve no idea how it got there. Sneaky.

Kuhlii Loach (Pangio kuhlii). How I love these critters. The kuhlii looks like a little eel with gills, fins and tiny, beady eyes. They are shy, peaceful creatures, and have no scales as such, making them sensitive to changes in the aforementioned water parameters (Nature: 3; Faith: 2), but this gives them their special powers. They are bottom feeders, and slither around beneath the plants and driftwood, and in the caves. They are also known to hang out in the Witch Cave, where they snack on demons.

The rest of the fishes, I love dearly of course, but I won’t wear out my welcome like an introvert at a party who gets started talking about books or scifi horror movies or something. So I’ll swim away for now. May you all stay well, and don’t overfeed the fish (Nature: 5678042; Faith: 2).

© F.T. McKinstry 2020. All Rights Reserved.